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感揭秘：为何高学历夫妻离婚率更高?
http://health.msn.com.cn 2012-11-30 04:15:00 来源: 39健康网 [liuxiangqin]
情感揭秘：为何高学历夫妻离婚率更高?
情感揭秘：为何高学历夫妻离婚率更高?
　　许多高学历者因为种种原因往往忽视了培养夫妻感情的重要性，从而缺乏处理婚姻问题的智慧，最后不得已离婚。高学历夫妻要取得高质量的婚姻，一方面，需
要跨越“把一切事情智力化”的障碍，学会在感情生活中让头脑休息。要避免离婚，首先生活事业要分开。
　　“我老公太过分了!总认为我什么都不懂，太小看我了吧!”小张一见我就开始抱怨。她说，自己和丈夫都是硕士，还是同班同学。身边的人都觉得他们学历
高、有修养，简直就是天生的一对。“可是，我们婚后的生活并不幸福。”很多像小张这样夫妻反映，高学历夫妻问题反而更多，甚至超过了中低学历者，并且，近
几年这种“组合”的分手率也在不断上升。为什么高学历婚姻关系更不容易和谐呢?
　　 容易否定对方
　　其实，许多高学历者因为种种原因往往忽视了培养夫妻感情的重要性，从而缺乏处理婚姻问题的智慧。婚姻是一种“共生”的状态，夫妻双方都须适当控制过强
的自我意识，理解包容对方。从心理层面看，高学历夫妻自我意识更强，更容易否定和贬低对方。
　　而且，有些高学历者因为修炼成了某领域的专家，在婚姻中更容易过分坚持自我，难以接纳对方的观点。他们往往为了证明自己观点的正确性而压制对方。
　　情商智商不成比例
　　婚姻其实是一场双人舞，两个人必须调整自己的步伐，配合好对方的舞步。要想完成这场舞蹈，不仅需要高智商，更需要高情商。许多高学历夫妻之所以最后成
了独舞演员，就是因为智商和情商不成比例。某个领域的学术精英，智商往往很高，但处理感情问题的情商却可能很低。
　　情商的培养往往需要不断与人沟通，情商高的人能够自如地体验、调控和表达自己的情绪，同时觉察、接受与调节他人的情绪，最终达成人与人之间的情绪共
振。美妙的爱情往往就是情绪高度共振的产物。如果你总在婚姻中争论谁对谁错，那你就是在用处理智力问题的方式处理情感，难怪会产生那么多纠纷。
　　 生活事业要分开
　　高学历夫妻要取得高质量的婚姻，一方面，需要跨越“把一切事情智力化”的障碍，学会在感情生活中让头脑休息，能够自如地与伴侣去进行情感上的交流共
振。需要学会体察和识别伴侣的感受，同时去释放自己的情感和对方分享。
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Emotion Secret: why highly educated couples divorce rate is higher?
http://health.msn.com.cn 2012-11-30 04:15:00 Source: 39 Health Net [liuxiangqin]

Emotion Secret: why highly educated couples divorce rate is higher?
Emotion Secret: why highly educated couples divorce rate is higher?

Many
highly educated, for whatever reason tend to ignore the importance of
cultivating feelings of the couple, which lack the wisdom to deal with
marital problems, divorce last resort. Highly
educated couples to obtain a marriage of high-quality, on the one hand,
the need to go beyond the "intelligence" of everything barriers, learn
to let the mind rest in the love life. To avoid divorce, the first to separate the cause of life.

"My husband too much! Always think I do not understand anything, underestimate me!" John saw me and began to complain. She said she and her husband are the Master, or classmate. Everyone around him feel that they have high academic credentials, accomplishment, simply born. "However,
our married life is not happy." Like Sally so couple reflected more
highly educated couples but, even more than in the lower levels of
education, and, in recent years, this "combination" breakup rate also rising. Why the marriage of the highly educated are less likely to harmony?

Easily negate each other

In
fact, many of the highly educated, for various reasons, often
overlooked the importance of cultivating feelings of the couple, which
lack the wisdom to deal with marital problems. Marriage
is a "symbiotic" state, both spouses must be proper control of strong
self-awareness, understanding and accommodating each other. From psychological level, highly educated couples self-consciousness stronger, easier to deny and belittle each other.

And
some highly educated because the practice has become an expert in the
field of marriage easier over adhere to self, it is difficult to accept
each other's point of view. In order to prove the correctness of their views, they tend to suppress each other.

EQ IQ disproportionate

Marriage is actually a pas de deux, two people have to adjust their own pace, with the good of each other's dance. In order to complete this dance, not only need a high IQ, need more high EQ. The reason why many highly educated couples finally became a soloist, is because of IQ and EQ disproportionate. A field of academic elite, often very high IQ, EQ to deal with emotional problems, but may be very low.

EQ
cultivation often need to continue to communicate with people, people
with high emotional intelligence able to freely experience, the
regulation and expression of their emotions at the same time aware of,
acceptance and emotional regulation of others, and finally reach the
emotional resonance between people. Wonderful love is often the product of emotional high degree of resonance. If
you always argue who is right and who is wrong in the marriage, then
you're dealing with intellectual problems to deal with emotional, no
wonder they produce so many disputes.

To be the cause of life separate

Highly
educated couples to obtain marriage of high-quality, on the one hand,
the need to go beyond the "intelligence" of everything barriers, learn
to let the mind rest in the love life, comfortable with a partner to
exchange emotional resonance. Need to learn to observe and identify the partner's feelings, to share and the other at the same time to release their emotions.]